blog of a frustrated traveler: 2014

Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Unrequited Part 2

July 2014

Late night thoughts. Still a part of the novel.

1:16 AM

I wasn't in my usual self these last few days. I was out of my mind like shouting words without a sound coming out of my mouth. I am completely aware of what I was doing and was about to do.

It was quite hard for me waiting for your texts and watching our chat box turn to green. Days turn to weeks, it was hell. For you, this is natural for us to rarely communicate because I'm already taken. For me, it wasn't natural.

I remember chatting you about nonsense even though you aren't online to read it. I did it just to make you notice me. I got you six messages, one of which lead me to saying that we broke up. Thought that would cheer you up. But deep inside me, I know lying to you wasn't a good idea. We are still together. I just wanted to know your reaction. I also confessed that I miss our late night conversations even though back then, our houses are just a walk apart.

I waited for more than a week for your response. We've gone through the usual conversation. Then you just said that you're going back to our Alma Mater, where you and I met, to get some credentials. I just went there last week, but here I am insisting to accompany you. It was a six-hour drive for you and a mere 2 hours for me. I have no agenda but still, I convinced you to take me instead. Without second thoughts, you agreed. I was happy.

Once again, I felt butterflies in my stomach. That same feeling I was craving for since I met her. No one could make the butterflies flutter better than you. At this point, I was undoubtedly cheating. I even asked you to come home with me so that I could take you to places in my hometown.

We were already planning the trip. I was getting too excited. Until yesterday, you said something came up. You decided to travel instead on the start of school. You also agreed to come home with me, but looking through my timetable, I won't be available due to Med school's demands. We had the perfect plan, but we don't have time. It was the right opportunity at a wrong time.

As we continued to exchange messages, my feelings became uncontrollable. I insisted you to make time for me, because I needed to see you. You asked why, but I told you that I have no reason, I just wanted to see you. You didn't respond. I was worried that I have crossed the line. I'm getting paranoid each day. I wanted to apologize, but what for? I didn't hurt you. I just...betrayed our friendship.

Someday I wanted to tell you that I was always in love with you. I'm willing to take risks, go for that extra mile just to see you. I want to show much I would give up for you. As for her, it happened when she came at that time when I was looking for love. When I was desperately begging for attention and kinda missing the feeling of being in love.

I am torn between my happiness and commitment.

Somehow, I managed to find out the answer. If I really do love her, I won't be fumbling my way back to you. But I did. I am in love with you all these years.

No, you're not solely the reason why I cannot go on with my life with her.

I am the problem.

She was a victim of my selfishness.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Unrequited Part 1

July 2014

This is a part of the novel I was working on.

A message for you:

12:36 AM

I don't know if I should feel this. I'm in a relationship now but I still think of you. I don't want to hurt her but I'm hurting too.

I can't remember a thing or two when we first met. I just know we have the same classes. You were just one of my friends. But things started to shift differently when we started spending a lot of time together. I can't deny that I -- am slowly falling for you.

I miss you. Those spontaneous lunch and dinner "dates" at any restaurant we wanted to try. Those impulsive ideas to visit areas around the city, especially when we spent the whole day acting like tourists. Those long walks heading home after a sumptuous dinner, and those occasions meant to be celebrated by a couple (but we did). Those times when I had to wait for you outside your classroom until 7 pm, so as we could eat dinner together. We were almost inseparable. After we bid our goodbyes for the day, we immediately talk through text messages. We talked about anything and everything. And for two years, I didn't mind spending lunch or dinner with you every single day. We order different dishes so as we could try both. Same is true with the beverages and dessert. I didn't mind using your fork, you also didn't. Sometimes, when we go out, I only have my wallet with me because I know, I can always place it in your bag. And if you're tired, I get to carry your shoulder bag even though I look crazy.

We were often mistaken as a couple by our close friends, actually. But we dodged these speculations and act as if we don't care. I cared. I wanted us to be a couple.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I was too scared confessing my feelings that it may cost our friendship. I was fully aware that you like somebody else. Now that he's got his special someone, I did feel your pain. I know how much you sacrificed for this guy. I was so jealous of him. Now that I am committed and not to you, I still wanted you.

I wanted to tell you everything. That I love you and I miss you. I'm not cheating on her. I just wanted a closure for both of us. I wanted to be honest with you, for two years you had been my confidante, my closest friend, and the greatest antagonist of my life. I know you gave me advice just to steer me away from mistakes. I love you for that. Even though you are the epitome of expressionless and neutrality, I sometimes felt that you've had repressed feelings for me buried deeply within your heart. You were saddened when I was committed into a relationship. We both know it was too fast, too sudden that I paired up with someone whose name I barely heard.

You were worried that we won't be able to have lunch or dinner together. I felt that you hated her. You didn't want her to come at our planned lunch meets. You were clearly jealous, and I was so dumb not to realize it. From the time you went with us to drink at a local pub, you felt the need to guard me in case something happens. The second drinking session, you were around too. And I was surprised that you still came when you had so many things to do and a report due the next morning. You were with me the whole time. You wanted me to be safe so went with me. It was 1 AM when we headed home. You were still awake 3 AM that day working on your unfinished requirements. I have never been so honored in my life.

Now, I can't think of words to say to you. But believe me, I was truly, madly, deeply in love with you. And if I wasn't committed, maybe I have had followed you and worked there, just as you suggested. I would've waited for one year before starting med school for you. But things wasn't mean to be. You were my everything.

I will forever treasure our moments. I am so lucky to have spent most of that two years with you and how happy I am to meet and love someone secretly like you.

You'll always be my Robin.

A forever friend that still loves you secretly,

Ted

Friday, June 20, 2014

Calle Crisologo

Vigan, October 2012

History is written all over this piece of calle or 'street'. It is the sole indicator and evidence that Spain did colonize the Philippines. This place, or Vigan as a whole, is considered as one of the historical places that is perfectly preserved.

Calle Crisologo did not get away with the modern time and age of capitalism. Slowly, this place is starting to generate profits for entrepreneurs. And as time pass by, the history that was embedded in this place, will soon be replaced by commercialism.

I don't know what to feel exactly in this tremendous battle between past and present.

I support changes but not in these historical places.

To quote my review on TripAdvisor:

"If you're a history fanatic, you should check this place out. The buildings are perfectly preserved. Although, it gradually turns into a commercial complex, the Spanish and modern architecture blends well. I suggest that you see this place during the night between 6-9 pm. I experienced chills in my nape as we stroll along and you can really feel the atmosphere during colonial times. Be ready though for the 'aromatic' horse poops along the walk. Souvenir shops and restaurants are also found within the vicinity."

Calle Crisologo is a beauty, a huge part that defines our identity as a whole.

Vigan, indeed, is the heritage city.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Ilocos Sur Getaway

Ilocos Sur, October 2012

Another semester's over and I was looking forward for an exciting semestral break. Me and my friends planned to spend a week away from home and we're bound to Ilocos. Erica offered their rest house for a place to stay. She invited some of her friends too. I was too excited because my break's gonna be jam-packed.

Breath-taking scenery along the trip so we seized the opportunity to take a picture. By the way, the wind is extremely blowing in the area.

I'm surprised that Erica's house has a mini basketball court. This made me happy.

Calle Crisologo is a preserved beauty. Try going at night.

Before we turn in for the night, a game of cards and a bowl full of pumpkin seeds were our midnight snack.

Rise and shine! We took a picture while waiting for our turns in taking a bath.

Fritzie was totally head over heels to lose weight.

Bad luck? Maybe. The car leaked almost all the gasoline and took half a day to repair. We had no choice but to ride public transportation.

Vigan Empanada at Hidden Garden. Nahid looks hungry!

Another photo of us at Hidden Garden. We're ready to leave and visit Baluarte.

There's not much people around. The weather is just not so stable at the moment.

We are crazy. That's all know.

The church at night.

We get to spend the day at the rest house of Erica's uncle. Videoke, baby!

We gotta love this secluded place with its own private pool. It's a vacation all right.

Cool afternoon breeze and a hammock is definitely the definition of relaxation.

Black and yellow. Hmm.

Tong-its! An addictive card game! Must-try. Ha-ha!

The night went on with a toast.

Sorry to be leaving this place. It was a nice ride. :|

Last stop for the trip: Bell Tower, in which it was rumored to be the taping area of the movie, "Sukob".

The bell. The wooden steps were unstable but at the top, the view was fantastic.

Souvenir and gift shop, Marsha's Delicacies.

It was one hell of a trip. Looking forward for more adventures with my friends!

BenCab Museum Fieldtrip

Art Gallery, August 2013

For almost four years of stay in Baguio, I have often heard about the BenCab museum from friends or other travel blogs. I never had the time to visit great places within the city because most of my time is devoted to academics (just joking). For certain reasons, I made my way to the roster of Humanities 2 that opened up an opportunity to visit the museum before I leave Baguio (hopefully).

My artsy side does not often come naturally. It’s usually impulsive and at times, dormant. Due to my extensive exposure to science, my perspective shifted to complexity and symmetry. I knew I needed to join this trip not only for the extra points but also for the restoration of my lost interest in art.

One look at the museum, I knew that it’s gonna be great, but hot, day.

As soon as the doors were opened for us, few paintings were already waiting for us. They were large, just like a mural. The planning of the museum was impressive for they categorized the paintings, this way, it’s better to look at them by their similarities.

I noticed that most of the works are inspired by the Cordilleran culture. This may be due to the geographical location of the museum and/or Ben Cabrera’s fascination of Indigenous People’s culture. From weaved cloth to pottery, it became a depiction of the once thriving culture.

If only our tour guide’s voice was louder and clearer, it would have been great. I could only stare at paintings without knowing which is which. The precision and undefined boundaries of the paintings impressed me the most.

On the other side, abstract paintings were abound. It was really hard to discern what the artist wanted to depict in the paintings. In the end, it leaves the viewer something to ponder on. This left me questions dancing in my head which I held on for some time. But for the record, abstract paintings are constant reminders of that sometimes, imperfections are perfect.

What's that? :D

It may look odd but I enjoyed staring at the paintings in the Erotica Gallery. At first, the idea of erotica, for me, was absurd and harassing. But upon integrating the human body to art, the definition became clearer. To me, before, it should be talked of privately, but somehow this notion changed. It’s fascinating how the human body is being portrayed and given importance to. In my opinion, the artist may be a fan of Freud.

Erotica miniatures.

This trip, somehow, uplifted my interest in art. I wasn't supposed to join this activity for the load of requirements waiting to be accomplished. At the end of the day, the time that I intend to devote to my requirements, gave a much better consequence in return. The experience and the bonding was worth the sacrifice.

From Baguio City:
Take a Public Utility Jeep that is bound for Asin Hot Springs. The terminal for these is located in the public market. Ask for directions (this is vital). From there, ask the driver to drop you off at BenCab museum. It is not hard to notice for the said building has a modern design that differs it from the surrounding environment. Make sure to bring enough money for there is an entrance fee plus there is a cafe resto inside that provides a scenic view.

From BenCab Museum:
Wait for jeeps that pass by the museum. The fare is Php 28.00 (as of now) for one-way back to Baguio City. If you have an afternoon to kill, head a bit further (ride a jeepney) until you've reached the Asin hot springs. Along the way, there are numerous resorts (Riverview, Palm Grove, etc.) to relax upon.

Enjoy!

Sablan, Benguet Fieldwork

First fieldwork, August 2011

It was the first semester of my 2nd year in college. Rainy season and yet our fieldwork in Botany 109 (Plant Taxonomy) pushed through. The location (Brgy. Bayabas, Sablan, Benguet) is just an hour-thirty from the busy streets of Baguio City. I found myself and my other group mates inside a large Public Utility Jeep. The long ride had soon started.

We had numerous large polyethylene bags, where our collected specimen will be temporarily stored. A fieldwork, for us biology majors, is an activity wherein we survey an area and take note every plant that intersected with the transect line. The length of the transect line varies according to the professor's instruction. So basically, it is data and specimen gathering, alongside with description of the place. These collected specimens will be further analyzed and processed back in our laboratories and execute a thorough research of the identity of the certain plant. I did these for four years. Amazing!

Brgy. Bayabas is not usually the place where vehicles normally pass by. It is located in the inner parts of the mountain and the trip to get back in the national road is quite long and bumpy, and rather, undeveloped. It is quite far from the city and the place is a bit lonely. Also, the road can only accommodate one vehicle at a time, and there are some instances that the road lies in a cliff; one mistake, well, you know what will happen next.

(c) Arianne Gamboa | 2011

After some time, we had collected ample amounts of specimen and we stopped by in one of the residential houses. We were surprised that the elder, who owned the house, willingly told us stories of the place. She was so accommodating that she even invited us for lunch.

(c) Arianne Gamboa | 2011

After a hike of thirty minutes from the Bayabas Elementary School, we witnessed this breathtaking view. Although we were hungry, thirsty, and exhausted, this view made us forget what pain we were enduring at that time. We rested at a nearby shed while waiting for the 12 NN break. Shortly after, we left the beautiful view to have lunch.

(c) Arianne Gamboa | 2011

(c) Arianne Gamboa | 2011

The locals were also very friendly and accommodating. They offered us some of their produce, such as bananas and mangoes, to bring home. Before leaving Brgy. Bayabas, we decided to purchase Pineapple wine (their primary product) from the community. As soon as we are already packing up and ready to go back, the rain started to pour. At 4 pm, we left this peaceful place.

I can feel that the community were delighted to have such visitors once in a while. I can see the children's smiles turn into frown as our vehicles march the way out of the vicinity.

(c) Arianne Gamboa | 2011

Although the trip was quite dangerous, it is in these instances that make you think life once more. The simplicity of the locals without the need to buy extravagant things and the moist environment due to its 'foresty' appeal add up to an enviable life.

I want to visit this place again. Not collecting specimens, but keeping up with the locals.

From Baguio City:

Ride a jeepney or a bus that will pass through Naguilian road. Ask the driver to drop you at Sablan. From there, ask the locals where to ride a jeep or a tricycle going to Brgy. Bayabas. The trip is quite long and make sure to stuff toiletries and lots of food. There aren't any sari-sari (convenience) stores around. Once you get there, talk to the Barangay Captain. He will surely give you a tour around.

Sablay

Sablay = Graduate, April 2014

The 'Sablay' says it all.

For the 4 wonderful years of my stay in UP [Baguio], the 'Sablay' can summarize it all.

Graduation paraphernalia

I wasn't aware of its existence since my third year in college. I was so busy trying to pass my subjects. The number of majors I'm taking extremely grew as semesters pass. And I admit, passing UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admission Test) is just the beginning of hell and staying in UP is one heck of a long, bumpy, sleepless ride.

I can still remember my first step inside the campus. It was the medical examination. As I walked through the corridors, I can imagine myself sitting on the floor, killing time, which I habitually did a year after. I can't exactly describe what I'm feeling that moment, but I'm sure it was mostly fear. Yes, fear, and insecurities. Maybe because I am not included in the list of the brightest students in our batch in high school. Yet, opportunity knocked right in front of me that I can't even resist. And here I am, calling myself soon-to-be 'Iskolar ng Bayan'.

Belonging to this premier state university, gave me nothing but worries--always! Specially when a new semester's about to start, I really don't know how to handle stress and my only goal was to pass my subjects. I once dreamt of graduating with flying colors, but being in this university makes it too impossible for me. I'm already happy seeing grade of higher than 3.0s in my TCG.

I endured eight semesters plus three summers(yes, I don't take a break. Nah, kidding.) with this kind of mentality. I will always remember the sleepless nights trying to review everything and rushing the papers (lab and field reports) due the following morning. I also experienced going to class without taking a bath (it's Baguio City guys, come on! Water problems everywhere!). Also those times when you need to wake up any time of the day and get ready by packing things for the fieldwork. Oh, how I'll miss being an undergrad, a Biology student. Most of all, a UP student.

Last April 28, I bid farewell to the university that exposed me to the extremes of life. To the university that opened my eyes to significant situations that continuously shape the nation and made me exercise and use the extents of freedom.

The 'Sablay', that was in my right shoulder the whole time, is now finally resting on my left. This is gonna be the last time that the university will be having its graduation in April, as the academic calendar will be synchronized to the international one.

UP was and still my second home. I will always be a true Maroon, an activist by heart. UP did not only provide me with knowledge, but it showed me how this knowledge can be utilized.

*Insert UP Naming Mahal here*

As our chant says, "Iskolar ng Bayan, ngayon ay lumalaban! Ngayon ay lumalaban, Iskolar ng Bayan!"

Thank you for the four wonderful years, UP!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Unrequited Part 2

July 2014

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Unrequited Part 1

July 2014

Friday, June 20, 2014

Calle Crisologo

Vigan, October 2012

Friday, May 9, 2014

Ilocos Sur Getaway

Ilocos Sur, October 2012

BenCab Museum Fieldtrip

Art Gallery, August 2013

Sablan, Benguet Fieldwork

First fieldwork, August 2011

Sablay

Sablay = Graduate, April 2014

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